I met Alex in the reading room at my hostel,my laptop kept freezing and he came to my rescue.
After studying in the reading room,I thanked him again and he insisted on walking me to my room.
How sweet of him, I thought.
That was when it all started…
Alex was the captain of the University of Ghana Basketball Team.He invited me to watch him play a basketball match.At the match,I was holding his backpack,water bottle and his phone for him.He kept winking at me and pointing in my direction every time he made a basket.
After the match,he introduced me to his team members as his “special person.”
You should have seen the silly grin on my face.
Alex was playing his cards right.
From that day,he tactically won his way into my heart. Alex asked me to be his girlfriend two weeks after we met and I screamed a Big YES!
Alex was everything I have ever wanted in a boyfriend.
He was funny without trying too hard.
He was the kind of guy you would look at once and steal three more glances at,he was breathtakingly handsome.
He was kind to everyone, even strangers.
He was well-read.
He was a gentleman and well-mannered.
We talked everyday and spent a lot of time together.
One day,I had a group presentation to prepare for, so I met with my group members in the morning at the library on Campus.The night before,I forgot to charge my phone,while in the library,my phone went off.The group meeting ended at 4pm and I was exhausted so I fell asleep when I got to my hostel.
After about an hour,I heard someone banging at my door.I peeped to see who it was,and it was my Alex.I quickly opened the door and in a split second,I was on the floor.
Alex gave me two slaps in my face and I fell to the ground.
He was pacing up and down my room and shouting,
“You pushed me to hit you!”
“Where have you been all day?”
“Your phone was off.”
“How long was that group study at the library ? Was it an eternal group study ?”
“I didn’t want to hit you but you caused this.”
“Babe,don’t push me to hit you again.”
My cheeks were hot and tears kept trickling down my face.I managed to sit up but I kept sobbing,he sat by me,put his arm around me and muttered an apology.
That evening,he bought me cupcakes with “Sorry Babe,Please” on them.
I wanted to break up with Alex but he kept begging me to stay.
No man had ever laid a finger on me,why should my first boyfriend be the one to do this?
Even my Daddy had never hit me so I was heartbroken.
I had made up my mind,I would break up with him tomorrow after his basketball game.
The next day…
I was in the stands watching the game and avoiding eye contact with Alex.Fortunately,it was a good game and I was seated by my friends, so being there was a bit more bearable.
When the referee blew the whistle at the end,Alex’s team came back to the court in a straight line singing Ed-Sheeran’s “Perfect.”
What’s going on?
The boys were walking towards me.
No way,what’s this?
Alex knelt down on the court and screamed,”Babe,please forgive me and let’s work this out.I love you,Babe.”
Everyone at the game was screaming or taking videos.
I will not fall for this Alex.
With “Perfect ” playing in the background,he walked up to me,kissed my forehead and the crowd went wild.
The girls were shouting “Awwwwww!” in unison.
“Babe,I’m sorry.Please forgive me ” he reached out for my hand.
“I forgive you,Alex.I’m giving us a second chance,please don’t ruin this one” my face inched closer to his and before we could stop ourselves,our first kiss happened.
Videos were up on Instagram,Facebook,Whatsapp,YouTube,Snapchat, you name it!
We were the talk of town for about a week.
Days and weeks went by…
Alex was always either verbally abusing me or physically abusing me.I used make up to cover up scars he had given me.
Everything I did or said was offensive in his eyes. “To teach me a lesson”, he would beat me up or rain insults at me.I could not tell anyone,my friends looked up to Alex and me and said we had a perfect relationship.I could not tarnish our reputation of being “Relationship Goals” on Legon Campus.
His apologies were always well calculated,he would apologise in the sweetest manner,always going the extra mile and outdoing himself.
Buying his way back into my heart.
I kept hoping he would change…
Change for the better.
That was hopeless hope because things kept getting worse.
Today,the straw broke the camel’s back.
I was on a conference call with my project supervisor and my teaching assistant for about two hours.Alex had tried calling me but my line was busy so he assumed I was talking to another guy and I was probably cheating on him.
Alex had the spare key to my room so he stood by my window and eavesdropped on the conversation.When he heard me laugh out loud,he barged into my room,snatched my iPhone and iPad and threw them downstairs from my balcony.Mind you,I was on the seventh floor.
He started laughing,”No phone or iPad is equals to no cheating on me.”
I stood at the balcony looking down at the shuttered pieces of my phone and iPad.
I was so angry,my hands started to shake and my heart was pounding.
I walked up to Alex,”It was my supervisor and my teaching assistant on the line,and that iPad you threw downstairs has my final project work on it. Alex,I won’t wait for an apology from you today.Today,I walk away from you and everything that we once shared.I am tired of making excuses for you.I’m leaving this abusive relationship.
Alex,today,it’s over and I mean it.”
Photo credit : Gerard Nartey
“You’re such a drama queen,what do you expect me to do when I call you and your number is busy? Anyway,I am off to train,I will pass by after so we can talk.Stop this let’s “break up-break up” business.” he walked away.
Alex had to face the University’s Disciplinary Committee.He was stripped off his position in basketball team and was dismissed from the school.
The deadline for my final project was extended so fortunately, I was able to graduate.
It’s been two years since Alex and I last spoke.I blocked him from all my social media accounts and I changed my phone number.
Abusive relationships exist and the red flags show on a daily basis,ladies,be on your guard.
Pray for God to help you make the right decisions.
Gentlemen, don’t hit her,no matter what or verbally or psychologically abuse her.
You can’t come and kill yourself in the name of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
You can walk away from your boyfriend or girlfriend,it wouldn’t be called divorce.
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DISCLAIMER :This is blogpost is a work of fiction.Names,characters,places and incidents are either the product of my imagination or are used fictitiously.Any resemblance to actual events is entirely coincidental.